Everybody's Doing It
by loveadubdub
Summary: "Look, this is a club about sex.  Or not having sex.  Or whatever.  So let's talk about it."


**EVERYBODY'S DOING IT**

…

She's not a prude.

She's not naïve or _frigid _or whatever else Ms. Holliday (and most of the school) seems to think. She's just not.

Is she a virgin? Yes. Is that a bad thing? Well, she's never missed a period or had a burning sensation when she pees, so probably not. It's not like she's _against _sex. She just isn't having it.

By _choice._

Rachel is not an idiot. She is _very _well-educated in sexual knowledge, and she has been from a very young age. Her parents never told her the story of the stork. They never had silly little nicknames for 'girl parts' and 'boy parts.' They have always been open and honest and upfront. They've answered every question she's ever had, and they have initiated more than a few of their own conversations on the topic. They've always told her that they want her to feel comfortable and to be educated so that when _she _decides she's ready to engage in a sexual relationship, she'll feel comfortable coming to them with any kind of concerns.

It's great, of course, besides the fact that neither of her parents have ever been a teenage girl and she's beginning to realize that maybe they aren't _completely _capable of relating to what she's going through. Still, though. At least they're _trying. _At least they've _always _tried. That's more than she can say for the parents of most of the people she knows. Funny how some of _least _educated are the ones having the _most _sex.

Celibacy club is... celibacy club.

It's not some huge deal, not by a long shot. There's only one other active member, and of course it's Quinn. Quinn who is embracing celibacy and preaching abstinence but refuses to acknowledge the fact that she spent the majority of sophomore year pregnant and had a child. Rachel understands not wanting to let one action define you, but she thinks it's hypocritical that Quinn wants to be some sort of celibacy role model but refuses to use her own life story as an example and teaching tool to others who might need it. Of course, there are lots of hypocritical things about Quinn. Rachel really doesn't have time to list them all.

…

She doesn't honestly think Puck is lost when he shows up at celibacy club.

She doesn't necessarily trust his motives, though, and she has a feeling he's definitely got a reason for being there that doesn't include wanting to share his appreciation of abstinence. The last time he was here, it was obviously as a joke, and she knows for a fact that he and Santana had sex in the locker room right after that meeting. She wasn't _spying, _but she certainly happened to walk down the wrong hall at the wrong time on her way to meet her dad.

He looks way too happy to be sitting here and way too proud of himself when Ms. Pillsbury makes a comment about none of them having unplanned pregnancies in nearly a year. Rachel realizes that the amount of teenage parents in the celibacy club has increased from one-half to two-thirds, and _that, _she thinks, is just ridiculous. She keeps her mouth shut about it, though, and listens to some ridiculous story about a sex tape and rock bottom and _gross. _There are moments, sometimes a lot of moments, when Rachel wonders if Puck's actually been possessed by aliens or something because keeping up with him is like watching a tennis match. It's enough to give her whiplash.

She doesn't like Lauren that much. She doesn't know why Puck's so interested in her, either, because she's really mean to him. She's really mean in general, and there's already enough of that going around. Maybe it's his thing, though. Santana... Quinn... Maybe he just likes evil bitches. It wouldn't surprise her. His mom's a bitch, too, and she would never, _ever _say that out loud to anyone, of course, but it's the truth. So really, if Freud is to be believed, it's no wonder he keeps falling for the bitchiest girls in school.

But it's still pretty stupid.

Puck seems way too happy when it's announced that they'll be singing for glee. She's happy, too, just because it means a performance, and she loves performances. She doesn't necessarily agree with the song choice Ms. Pillsbury has picked, but the costumes are fantastic. Who knew a thirty year old guidance counselor had such style?

…

They sing "Afternoon Delight" for the rest of the glee club, and Brittany's the only one who applauds.

Everyone else is staring at them like they've grown three heads or something. Quinn's mad and stomps off the stage rolling her eyes. Ms. Pillsbury (Ms. Pillsbury-_Howell, _she's reminded suddenly by the appearance of Dr. Howell) is going back and forth with Ms. Holliday about the meaning of the song or something, and Rachel stops listening. Puck still has a stupid, dorky smile on his face as he takes a second bow and heads off into the wings. She can see him dropping his guitar onto a chair and grabbing a bottle of water from her spot still on the stage.

She's still watching him when Ms. Pillsbury-_Howell _comes up and starts trying to explain that Afternoon Delight is really a coconut dessert, but Rachel isn't listening. She just walks away and joins her fellow club members in the wings. Or at least she thinks that's what she's doing. There's only one other person back here, and she asks Puck where Quinn is. He shrugs and just says, "She's pissed."

Rachel rolls her own eyes. She hates when people let others dictate their emotions. Just because the other members of New Directions didn't like their song doesn't mean they sang it badly. It just means Ms. Pillsbury-_Howell _is an idiot.

"You knew what that song was about the whole time," she accuses, staring straight at Puck and daring him to contradict her. He doesn't. He just laughs.

"Well, _duh."_

"Why didn't you say anything?" She's mad now, too- not that they were given poor reviews but that they were essentially sabotaged by a member of their own team.

"Cause it's fucking hilarious." Puck looks pleased with himself, which is not surprising at all. "And shit, it's not like the lyrics don't speak for themselves... I mean, what part of 'the thought of rubbin' you is getting so exciting' is hard to understand?"

Rachel scowls. She had suspicions, but she trusts authority figures enough to assume that the guidance counselor and faculty sponsor of the _celibacy club _wouldn't push them to sing songs about afternoon sex. It's mortifying.

"You're ridiculous," she tells him angrily, and it's not really fair because she's not even that angry at _him. _He just always happens to be an easy target when she needs to take frustration out on someone. Funnily enough, he doesn't seem to ever really mind.

"It's funny. Admit it."

"We just made _fools _of ourselves in front of the entire glee club, Noah." She stares at him pointedly. "How is that _funny?"_

"It's _glee club." _He stares right back, and she has no idea what that means. "If somebody's not making a fool of themselves, then what's the point?"

She rolls her eyes again because she has no other response. She doesn't even know what to _say _to that.

…

She spends the next week watching Finn watch Quinn, and she thinks she's being discreet until Puck calls her on it one day after glee while they're heading for the parking lot. Really, he doesn't so much call her on it as say, "Quinn's a bitch," and it's kind of understood that he knows exactly what's going through her head. She sort of hates that about him, but it's something she's come to expect. She doesn't respond, nor does she give him any sort of indication that he is correct in his assumptions. Instead, she tells him that he needs to work on his lower registry because he was flat on several different notes today.

…

It appears that their serenade about midday intercourse worked because five more people show up for the next meeting of celibacy club.

_Brittany and_ _Santana _show up.

One person who does not show up is Ms. Pillsbury-Howell who is seriously in danger of heading back to being just Ms. Pillsbury. She stops Rachel in the hallways and explains that she'll be taking a few weeks off from extra-curriculars for marriage counseling. Rachel firmly believes in the power of therapy, so she just smiles and assures her that she'll handle things in the interim.

It goes well until Puck points out that Quinn's got a hickey.

Rachel spends the rest of the meeting angry and snaps at everyone who tries to speak. Santana loudly tells her that if she got "a little dick" in her life maybe she wouldn't be such an "uptight bitch." That goes completely against everything celibacy club's about, of course, but everyone else just seems to think it's funny.

Celibacy club has officially turned back into one giant joke.

…

No one shows up the next week.

Rachel sits alone in the classroom and stares at the door, waiting for the others to show up. She almost talked herself out of even coming back after the last meeting, but she's here. She's here because it's important, and whether anyone else believes it or agrees, she really does think waiting until you're ready to have sex is a valid life choice.

Even if it does make her frigid.

Ten minutes pass, and she's just about to leave. The classroom door opens, though, and Puck's there with his backpack and a slightly bored look.

"Mr. Millington held me over," he says before she even asks. He sits down right beside her even though there are tons of other chairs empty. "Where's everyone else?"

"They're not here," she says, her voice low because she's partially pissed off and maybe even a little hurt.

"Not even Quinn?"

"She's probably having sex with Finn in his new room." She says it without thinking, and Puck looks at her out of the corner of his eye but doesn't call her out on the bitterness.

Instead, he just leans back in his chair and turns his head to look at her. "So what's on the agenda?"

"Are you serious?" Rachel stares at him disbelievingly. "You're only here as a joke, and I don't have time for this." She stands up and bends down to pick up her bag, but he grabs her wrist.

"Why are you so pissed?"

"Because this _isn't_ a joke!" It comes out louder than she expects, but her mouth takes off without her brain's permission. "I'm serious about this, but everyone just thinks it's funny! I'm tired of being treated like I'm stupid, and I'm not going to sit here and waste my time with you when you're only here to make fun of me!"

He lets go of her wrist on the last word of her rant, and she drops into her seat.

"Whoa. I'm not making fun of you." She glares at him, but he sounds kind of serious. "Let's just talk."

"I'm not talking to you." She crosses her arms over her chest and realizes she's impersonating a five year old. She doesn't care.

It doesn't matter anyway because he ignores her. "Why are you in this club?"

She ignores him right back.

"Rachel, I'm not making fun of you," he says again, and his voice sounds eerily like that voice he uses whenever he randomly decides to be nice to her. "I just want to know why you're here."

"It's none of your business."

He rolls his eyes. "Look, this is a club about sex. Or not having sex. Or whatever. So let's talk about it."

She does _not _want to talk about sex with Noah Puckerman. He's maybe the _last _person she wants to talk about sex with.

"I mean, you're a virgin, right?" She just looks at him, and he takes that as a yes. "Why, though? Like are you waiting for marriage or what?"

He sort of sounds genuinely interested, and she has this problem where her mouth moves a lot more than she would like. She'd like to ignore him, but she hears herself answering.

"I'm not waiting for marriage. I'm just waiting until it feels right."

"And it never felt right with Finn?" He's got his eyebrows raised, and she knows this is weird. Puck is Finn's best friend. She never even discussed her and Finn's nonexistent sex life with _Finn, _so she really shouldn't be talking about it with his best friend.

"I don't want to talk about it," she says for what feels like the millionth time in a matter of minutes.

"Look, I haven't been a virgin since I was fourteen." She wants to find that disgusting, but she's not remotely surprised so it doesn't even faze her. "I could like try to come up with some reasons why, but mostly I just did it because I _wanted _to. Don't you ever just _want _to?"

That's a stupid question. Of course she just _wants _to sometimes. That doesn't mean she does it. Doesn't mean it would be _smart _to just do it.

"You do everything because you just _want _to, Noah," and her voice is kind of icier than she means for it to be. "That doesn't mean it's a good decision."

"I know that." He sounds a little defensive, and she can't blame him. "But we're not talking about me, we're talking about you. Sometimes you need to just do something just because you fucking want to."

"What I _want," _she breaks in, "is a boy who tells me the truth. I want a relationship that's not based off a lie from the first damn second."

And Puck nods. "I get that. Dudes have fucked you over. But not every guy in the world is like that- eventually you're gonna just give in and do something because it _feels _good."

She doesn't look at him. She stares at the table in front them and tries not to notice that she can feel him still staring at her.

"Look, I'm not taking some vow of celibacy because that's not who I am. I'm here because I'm trying to make some changes, but I'm never gonna just swear sex off or anything because that's not me. It's cool if that's what you wanna do, though. Just make sure it's because _you _want to do it, not just because you've had a couple of douchetard boyfriends who didn't appreciate you."

It's maybe the nicest thing he's ever said to her. She's careful not to let this show.

"I mean, you _do _know you're hot, right?" She turns her head then because she can't _not _look at him. "That's not like a surprise or anything, right? I mean, dudes want to have sex with you. It's okay if you want that, too."

"You think I'm hot?" Her voice is so quiet, and she hates it because it makes her sound pathetic.

He's nice enough not to point this out. Instead, he just grins that stupid cocky grin of his and puts a hand on her thigh, right on top of her skirt. "Look at these legs."

She can't help but smile, too, and she's sure she blushes. She hates when he says things like that because she knows he's just doing it to do it. He's never even remotely embarrassed, which can only mean he says things like that to all the girls. And she knows he does, so it makes her feel dumb when she's flattered by them.

The last time he complimented her legs, she ended up straddling his hips on her bed and ruining her relationship and subsequently her life. She should learn to ignore him.

"Do you think Finn and Quinn are together?" She changes the subject because it's easier than this. Also, because she wants his opinion. He's the one who called out Quinn's hickey.

He doesn't mention her subject jump. Instead, he just moves both hands back to the table and shrugs. "I don't know if they're like sneaking around or whatever, but I don't think they're having sex."

"Why not?"

"Because Quinn doesn't have sex." He says it like it's the most obvious thing in the world. "She's like for real about that shit."

"She had sex with you." It feels necessary to point out the obvious. Maybe everyone ignores the fact that a baby was born last year, but that doesn't mean it didn't happen.

Puck just rolls his eyes again. "Once."

Rachel's surprised by that and doesn't know if she believes it. "She _lived _with you..." She can't really imagine them living together and not doing... _that. _It just seems strange.

"Yeah, and I was trying to date _you _while she was living with me, remember?" He kind of tilts his head and gives her what's supposed to be some sort of obvious look or something, but now it's her turn to roll her eyes.

"You were trying to get me to cheat on my _boyfriend," _she corrects pointedly. "Not _date _me."

He just shrugs. "And now, don't you wish you had?"

She does, but that's not the point.

He goes on without waiting for an actual answer. "I was being proactive." She's surprised he knows such a word. "I knew that kid was playing you the whole time. Just like I knew Finn was playing Quinn when I hooked up with her. Just 'cause you guys can't see it doesn't mean I don't know what's up."

She knows he's making some sort of defense case for the fact that he helps girls cheat on their boyfriends all the time. So she decides to call him out with, "And last time?"

"Finn was playing _you, _too." A beat passes. "And I stopped."

Rachel just closes her eyes for a second and then lets her forehead drop into her hands. She feels like such an idiot, always trusting people who don't deserve to be trusted. She should be smarter than this, but she always just lets herself get too caught up.

"Look, I'm not saying I'm some kind of saint or something, but at least I'm not a liar." She hears him speaking, but she doesn't look over at him. "I don't like lie to girls and get them to trust me and then fuck them over. That's not cool."

There's silence for a little while, and neither one of them says anything. Then Rachel finally lifts her head and looks at him. She's embarrassed to even ask the next question, but she does anyway. He's Finn's best friend. He's supposed to know him better than anyone, so who else can she ask? "Do you think if I _did _have sex with Finn that he wouldn't have broken up with me?"

She's been wondering about it for months, really _agonizing _over it. She can't help it. She just wants to know. Would he have forgiven her if she was more willing to just give him what she _knows _he wanted all along. She also wants to know if he would have told her about Santana beforehand. Or would he have just taken her virginity and let her keep thinking that she was getting his in return? It's been driving her crazy.

"I don't know. Maybe," is Puck's answer, and she hates it. She wants the truth, but she wants the truth to be _no, of course not, that had nothing to do with it. _The fact that he's confirming her fears makes her feel sick to her stomach.

So she asks the next question because now she's got no more pride to lose. "If I tell him I'll do it _now, _will he take me back?"

She expects another answer along the lines of _I don't know, maybe, _but what she gets instead is an almost angry kind of look and, "Don't you dare do some stupid shit like that, Rachel."

She's surprised to say the least, and she just stares at him because she doesn't know what to say. It doesn't matter because he has plenty to say.

"That's like... _pathetic. _You wanna give it up just so some idiot will take you back? Then you'll know he doesn't want you for anything but sex- how is that different from dumping someone because they _won't _have sex? You should have more fucking self-respect and shit than that."

She thinks it's funny that Puck, the school's most notorious whore, is lecturing her on self-respect. Especially after he just lectured her that she should just have sex because it _feels good. _She's embarrassed now, even more than before, and she's sure it's showing on her face. She's also mad, and she's trying to think of something to say back. He beats her to it, though.

"What happened to you anyway? You didn't used to act like this."

"What are you talking about?"

"Last year, you were all like, '_Girls want sex just as much as guys do.' _Now you're all... _This. _What happened to you?"

"Last year, I was naïve," she snaps back. "And do you make a habit of remembering things people say, so you can quote them back a year and a half later?"

He just shrugs. "That was the first time you ever opened your mouth that I didn't hear _blah, blah, blah, blah, blah." _She glares at him, and he just shakes his head. "Like you don't know that's true. And anyway, what the fuck do you mean naïve? That sounds hella less naïve than this bullshit you're saying now."

She's just pissed now, and she can't stop herself before she says, "That was before I got half-way naked with a guy who cracked an egg on my forehead the next week!"

Puck doesn't say anything. He just kind of looks at her, and she takes a deep breath to calm herself down. It's like she's in a contest to see how much she can humiliate herself in half an hour. She's not sure who she's competing against, but she's pretty sure she's winning.

But it's the _truth._

She hates that it happened, but it did. She has trust and intimacy issues now, big ones. Ones she didn't have before. She wasn't having sex before, true- not with Finn, not with Puck, not with Jesse... But she was doing more than she's willing to do now. She let Jesse do a lot of things. She let him get pretty far, she let him take her clothes off all the way down to her underwear.

And then all _that _happened, and it was like a switch flipped inside of her.

She became fully aware of it when she wouldn't let Finn do _anything _besides kiss her. She sort of _wanted _to do more, but it felt wrong and she just never could let herself. And she knew all along that it wasn't fair and that Jesse and Finn had nothing to do with each other and that Finn would never try to make an omelete on her face. But then again, she never thought Jesse would, either...

It's something she and her therapist have been working on for months now.

If her licensed and trained therapist cannot get through to her, she's not sure why she's here seeking advice from a seventeen year old baby daddy with a Mohawk and a juvie record. But he's offering it anyway, and she can't help but hear it.

"Listen," his voice is quieter now, and she can tell he's putting all of his efforts into being sweet with her. "I think it's cool that you want to wait for the right time or the right person or whatever. That's cool. But just make sure _you _make that decision, don't let anybody else make it for you. Not whoever you're dating then or whoever fucked you over before. It should just be up to you."

And it's crazy that it makes sense.

She smiles a little bit and nods because he's _not _being an asshole and he's _not _making fun of her. She thinks that kind of says a lot. She also realizes that this is the first celibacy club meeting where they've actually _talked _about sex.

She thinks that says a lot, too.

He asks her if she wants to go get some hot chocolate or something, and even though there's still technically twenty-seven minutes left of their meeting time, she nods and agrees.

She's not sure there's really much else to say anyway.

…


End file.
